Archive for the ‘humor’ Category


A post about sperm and eggs, I think

September 8, 2009

We spent the long weekend with Jack’s uncles in Arkansas. Unlike, Jack’s parents, his uncles are the sweetest people. They had a huge birthday bash for me with homemade cake and gifts piled on the dining table. I don’t have a real relationship with my relatives, and Jack’s parents think I’m a pesky squirrel that somehow slipped in while they were napping, so to be around caring people who made me feel loved felt good.

Later, his uncle showed us to our room. The room was large with an attached bathroom and expensive hand soap. But I couldn’t focus on this. As he showed us the towels and how to adjust the thermostat I found myself transfixed by the artwork hanging on the wall:


Am I the only one looking at a portrait of confused sperm? Uncle Ben caught my expression and smiled proudly, its made by a well known local artist. I can tell you’re blown away by it. After he left, I turned to Jack, don’t you see it?! He squinted at it for a minute and then laughed, yep, looks like we’re sleeping under a portrait of sperm. Then glancing at the bedspread he shook his head, and looks like we’ll be sleeping under a blanket of eggs:


Maybe infertility has seriously fried my brain, but all I’m saying is its a strange feeling to pull up your eggy blanket and look up at 3-D sperm floating above your head before you go to sleep.


Its not sign hunting if the signs hunt you!*

August 19, 2009

7dpo: mild cramping and then, spotting. I think. I wore pink  so its ambiguous. Asked Jack for a second opinion. Never saw a man flee so fast. I will not buy a bucket of HPTs. This means nothing. Yep, that should do it. Sigh. *If its implantation bleeding is it normal to spot for two days? And when could I take an HPT for accurate results?*


My conversations with God lately

August 15, 2009

Squeaky wheels get the grease right? Can’t say I’m not tempted to give this a whirl 😉


A day in the life

August 14, 2009

Kate: My birthday is less than a month away.
Jack: How should we celebrate?
Kate: I think I’ll crawl into bed and wish the day away.
Jack: No, we have to do something special!
Kate: Like what?
Jack: Hmm, we could go out for dinner, or I know, I’ll throw you a surprise birthday party!
Kate: Yeah?
Jack: Yeah, surprise birthday parties are the best kind.
Kate: Okay, just make sure I don’t find out about it.
Jack: Exactly, that’s the hardest . . . Oh . . .

I realized I’ve never written a non-IF post here. Ofcourse, this is my infertility blog  but I thought I’d share because I could use a smile, and perhaps you could too. 🙂


Einstein says: TTC while Infertile = Insane

June 12, 2009

Einstein defined Insanity as repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting a different result.  So by definition, I a perpetual infertile, TTC for 19 months, am… yeah, color me crazy! Seriously though, we’re not doing the same behavior over an over again considering we’re changing timings, seeing doctors, popping pills, but this quote really struck me since essentially it feels like you are doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. So though, I wager I am not infact, insane, I think I understand just a little bit more why I sometimes feel like I’m going batty during these two week waits.


Don’t mind the neurotic infertile

June 7, 2009

I’m writing a novel and my character gets pregnant after having sex with her husband once. I’m re-reading the manuscript after having put it away for a few months. I came across this passage: She cursed her pregnancy. This child ensured she would remain bound and chained. Her womb an anchor within her, keeping her feet firmly planted on this soil. My first instinctive thought? What an ungrateful trollop. Instinctively jealous of a fictional character I created. Gotta love it.


How to come on to an infertile

May 26, 2009

I’m sitting on the couch and hubby gives me the look. You know, the look.

No, I say shaking my head. I’m tired.

Oh, he says leaning close and whispering in my ear, but we should, in fact, we must.

Why is that? I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Well, he grins, “I think you’re ovulating.”

Wow. That was a first, but I have a feeling it won’t be the last!


Tivo and my Uterus, and the fact that they’re in cahoots.

April 29, 2008

At first I thought it was a coincidence. “How nice” I had thought when clicking the “Tivo Suggested” Friends episode it recorded. Until I watched it and it was the one where Monica and Chandler find out they are infertile. Um OK. I also did not find it amusing when it recorded a Sixty Minutes type show on the “Epidemic of Infertility”

Does Tivo know something I don’t? Is it trying to brace me for the shock? Or is Tivo just mean?

Just as I was contemplating tossing my Tivo to the curb [I kid- the thing is pricey, I would likely have just dealt with its abuse] I saw it had recorded a Dharma and Greg episode. Didn’t even know that was still on! So I click and watch it and though utterly irrelevant to my situation, she said one thing which struck me.

“Come on Greg. Having a baby or making cheese takes time and patience, but by being patient and understanding how hard it can be, it just makes it that much more beautiful once you enjoy the fruits ofy our labor”

Tivo, if this was a white flag of hope you made my way. I tentatively accept.