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Waiting for Tuesday

July 18, 2009

As my previous posts indicated my blood work came back with decent HCG levels (3500) and a border-line/low progesterone level 9.5. Normal is 15.  Monday I get blood work to see if my HCGs are rising and Tuesday I get those results. If the results are good then I get an ultrasound. I’m trying very hard in the meantime to not go mad counting down. We had brunch today, and watched dumb movies. A friend just called to invite us to his place for a bbq tonight. So life is good, moving moving.

We got a call from Jack’s parents. They want to visit next weekend. I’m super tensed up about this. If I have a bad result I will not be able to deal with that and them at the same time. I told Jack if the results are bad he’s going to have to get them to not come. I don’t know how we’ll manage that, but his parents are tough enough to handle in a good frame of mind, much less a muddied one.

I got two bills in the mail. One from my insurance company, one from the hospital where I miscarried. The insurance company appeared to cover all my costs. The hospital says they denied $700 and I need to pay it ASAP. Ofcourse they are closed until Monday. I don’t know how I’m supposed to come up with the energy to deal with them this coming week along with all the other stuff. I’m so exhausted from insurance companies.

I’m trying to remind myself that this is a miracle pregnancy. I ovulated off cycle somewhere around CD33 or 40 and against the odds conceived.  Technically based on cycles, this was unusual. So, maybe even though my progesterone is borderline low, I can make it through with a healthy successful pregnancy. It can happen. Its possible. Yes its also possible for the reverse to be true, but why sit in a puddle of fear when hope is so much sweeter.

I’m surprised I’m not a crying rambling wreck. I do cry. Especially when I pray. But I’m not as bad as I thought I would be. I know come Tuesday I will be a full and complete mess, but until then the fact that I’m going about life, well, that is nothing short of miraculous.

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8 comments

  1. nothing short of miraculous, indeed. i was thinking of you this morning b/c i remembered dr. naturo told me that she sees a lot of successful pregnancies with women who choose the progesterone suppositories over the pill form of progesterone…b/c of the local vs. systemic deal we were commenting about earlier. so, even though it’s just an anecdotal comment, i wanted to pass that little tidbit of info along…i guess it’s my long-distance way of trying to ease a tiny piece of your fears this weekend…sorry if it’s annoying to have me trying to calm you…i’m probably ultimately trying to calm myself!

    🙂


  2. I wish it was Tuesday already! I’m so sorry, this seems like torture! I’m keepin’ my fingers crossed and keepin’ you in my prayers. I hope the time just flies by! Stay sane!


  3. Lilly, as an IF sister your words are nothing but comfort to me. No one other than my husband knows I’m pregnant in my daily life, and so I turn here for support. Your comments mean the world and I appreciate it so much. I had NO idea about local supposoitories versus oral suppositories and the way they show up in blood work. I didn’t find it in all my frantic google searching. . . whatever comfort I can get as I wait for this monster long weekend (plus Monday) to pass, is much appreciated.

    Stacey, I knoooooooow. And my appointment is at 4pm! At the end of the day, grrr. Oh well. I have no choice but to wait.


  4. You’re in my prayers sweetie – will be thinking of you through Tuesday!

    Love,
    Baraka


  5. Are you sure you need progesterone level of 15+? Mine is 9.4 and my doctor seemed very happy with that. She said she likes it to be between 9 and 10. Anything below 5 is something to be concerned about. I think you shouldn’t let this bother you (although, now I’m letting it bother ME b/c you got me worried about my levels!). As my husband tells me, there’s nothing that can be done at this point and worrying is like a rocking chair — it will get you nowhere. Stay positive. I truly believe that positive thinking will help people in our situations. Good luck and God bless.


    • JT, how far along were you when the Doc said 9.4 is okay? I’m so confused by all the numbers thrown around. I read on one site that you should be at 25-30. I read on another that 9.4 is non-pregnancy level, I read on another that if you’re at 10 you’re good. She did tell me anything below 5 is something to be concerned about it. Good point about the rocking chair analogy… still rocking though unfortunately…. sigh. Thanks!


  6. I was 7 weeks when my level was at 9.4. Even before I got my levels tested, though, my doctor gave me a rundown of the different levels and what she’s comfortable with. At that point, she said 9-10 is good — 11 or higher is great — but at this point, I will settle for good praying that I don’t have another miscarriage.

    I did some add’l research after reading this post and I found on many sites that 9 is an OK progresterone level. The sites also said that progesterone levels in women vary significantly — just like how every pregnancy with every woman is different.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have a progesterone level of a million 🙂 but having anything above 9 shouldn’t be considered a bad thing.

    The same day I got my blood tested, my doctor did an ultrasound and the heartbeat was 157. Let’s all stay positive together.


    • I think you were sent by an angel to ease my anxious heart. Thanks for saying that. It makes me feel sooooooooooooooo much better. My doctor said it was borderline and they would not know if it was viable until a follow up beta. She did say 5 is bad and very low. She said things could end up being just fine, but you know how us miscarrying infertiles are…. we hear the hint of doubt we’re trembling, and when you tell us BORDERLINE, we’re already fearing the bad side of that border. I find it so strange though that you were told such a diff. thing than me, and based on my research people all keep getting different info on what numbers to be. I hope you’re right for both of our sakes. Congrats on your ultrasound. Fingers crossed for both of us.



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