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Mother’s Day

May 10, 2009

One month ago today I lost my baby. It’s mother’s day. I am honoring the day by honoring the baby that for a brief moment let me dream that I would be a mother.  I wrote this poem a few days after he died and I share this poem here as a tribute my baby speck.

We meant to welcome you, a doctor catching your fall,

your head resting on my breast.

But- No one caught you, when you fell. No one held you close.

You left this world without a name, without a hug, without a kiss goodbye.

I’m sorry.

You will always be the companion I had

on long commutes

while i folded laundry

Your heart

beating next to mine

I miss the nausea, and naps; the acne that began to sprout

I miss

missing sushi

and coffee

I don’t want it now that you’re gone.

You were so little

Yet your absence is a scar

The size of Jupiter

I pray you never hurt

I pray you never knew pain

I pray you never felt alone-

you were not alone

when you left

you took a piece of me with you

with you it will always remain

You were loved.

You were my first.

I will never forget you.

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3 comments

  1. I’m sorry for the pain you’re in and so sorry you will not be holding your baby this November. I’ll be praying for peace for you today & remember that you may not get to be called mom yet but you are a mother today & always.


  2. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.You write beautifully.


  3. Rebekah, Lumos, thank you so much for reaching out. Your support means the world.



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