Mother’s Day

May 10, 2009

One month ago today I lost my baby. It’s mother’s day. I am honoring the day by honoring the baby that for a brief moment let me dream that I would be a mother.  I wrote this poem a few days after he died and I share this poem here as a tribute my baby speck.

We meant to welcome you, a doctor catching your fall,

your head resting on my breast.

But- No one caught you, when you fell. No one held you close.

You left this world without a name, without a hug, without a kiss goodbye.

I’m sorry.

You will always be the companion I had

on long commutes

while i folded laundry

Your heart

beating next to mine

I miss the nausea, and naps; the acne that began to sprout

I miss

missing sushi

and coffee

I don’t want it now that you’re gone.

You were so little

Yet your absence is a scar

The size of Jupiter

I pray you never hurt

I pray you never knew pain

I pray you never felt alone-

you were not alone

when you left

you took a piece of me with you

with you it will always remain

You were loved.

You were my first.

I will never forget you.


  1. I’m sorry for the pain you’re in and so sorry you will not be holding your baby this November. I’ll be praying for peace for you today & remember that you may not get to be called mom yet but you are a mother today & always.

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your loss.You write beautifully.

  3. Rebekah, Lumos, thank you so much for reaching out. Your support means the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: