h1

Miscarriage, 2.5 weeks and the pain remains

April 30, 2009

I keep hoping that the healing process is beginning. I keep hoping that I am getting better and ready to move on. Yet the grief comes in waves like a Tsunami. I am peaceful and then in the middle of reading a book, or a conversation about pizza, I am seized by the powerful emotion and I fear I will drown. I take two steps forward, and then four steps back. I feel that I am tip toeing out of darkness and a dream or a memory drags me back in like a black snake coiled around my throat. When will I heal? Is this what healing feels like? Maybe healing means that you continue to ache and bleed along the way. Maybe with a loss as painful as this the heart never fully recovers.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. There are definitely good and bad moments in the healing process. It’s been almost 10 weeks since I miscarried, and I’m still dealing with the physical aspect as well as the emotional. There have been days where I could swear I didn’t care if I lived or died.
    I can relate to feeling like you’re taking two steps forward and then four steps back. A lot of times, that’s exactly how I feel.
    One thing that I’ve learned from all this is that I know I’m a lot stronger than I once thought I was, and that makes me very proud of myself.
    I hope your healing picks up momentum soon! You are still in my thoughts.


  2. I’m so sorry you miscarried as well. I feel guilty when I get into those dark places like you mentioned. I hope your healing goes well, and that we will both have good news one day soon.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: