One Restraining Order Against Grief PleaseApril 20, 2009
Your honour, I am a good person, I help the needy, and I pay my taxes [which were quite high this year might I add] and in short I do my part to be an upstanding citizen of this country and the world. So all I ask is one thing, a restraining order for aggravated assault if you please against the most heinous and evil of perpetrators. His name is Grief. Yes, no last name, just Grief but I’m sure you’ve heard of him. He’s left me well enough alone in the past but it seems he saw me and has taken a fancy to me. Your honour, he stares me down at meetings, as I slip on my pajamas for sleep, today driving into work he attacked me in the middle of the congested road as I listened to a radio DJ discuss his adorable son! I try to push him away your honour. I put on my ipod and try to run away. I talk reason to Grief saying ‘you can’t hurt me, the worst is over’. I beg Grief. But Grief does not listen and Grief, he is a sneaky fellow. I never really know when he’s coming but I always know when arrives for he assaults with a vengeance. He shakes my body as though searching for change, he presses against my heart until fat tears roll down my face, and he makes me scared to leave the house or talk to people because he’s told me, he could be just around that next corner. Your honour, Grief makes me afraid to leave the house. Grief has taken over my life. Please, even a temporary restraint will do.