Miscarriage- Don’t be ashamedApril 19, 2009
There is a standard three month rule I grew up hearing: Don’t tell people you are expecting until three months because your risk of miscarriage is highest before three months.
But why don’t you want people to know? Is it because you’re ashamed or because its difficult to “untell” all the people you told.
Personally, it killed me to tell my brothers and parents that I miscarried because of the excitement I’d heard in their voicse when I first told them I was pregnant. It hurt to hear the sadness. I realize it was concern for me, but I felt sad for the hopes they had raised.
However- people have been my support. Those who know have written me and called and sent flowers and these small acts of kindness have helped me survive.
There is no need to be ashamed. Its a horrible miserable tragedy. But like any other issue such as a broken bone, or an amputated arm, its not your fault and you have no reason to feel ashamed.
I wish all women who miscarried, all one out of four of us would speak out and tell others so that we could all turn to each other.
I read a statistic that one million American women miscarry each year.
You would’nt know it from the crickets chirping on the subject.