Heartbreak after a miscarriage

April 17, 2009

When you read about heart break you don’t fully realize that heart break is not a one time occurrence. Your heart does not simply splinter and fall apart, broken like a precious vase on the floor. No, if it only it were so simple. Heart break is much like a miscarriage. In fact, they are synonymous. You shatter first and it’s the most painful cut to be sure. I never had my heart broken for until now I never understood what the tired cliché meant. Now I do. It’s a painful splintering deep within your soul. It is a piece of yourself falling apart with a physical excruciating slowness. It’s like an explosion within myself, my heart is bleeding between my legs.

At times you think you are over it, you are past it. Your heart is fully broken and now you can get on with the business of mending, and then a phone call or a memory will seize you and you feel more pieces of your soul splintering off, crushing into dust. You are hit as though it just happened and you begin to wonder when the memories will stop cycling through your mind in such a maddening way.


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