h1

I must not be jealous of the fertility of others

June 18, 2008

This needs to be my mantra. Jealousy. Its an emotion I never understood before. People would say “X is jealous of Y” or “Bob is jealous of you” and it baffled me, why would anyone feel jealousy for another. I’m not even that far into the journey of infertility but already jealousy afflicts me. I see a pregnant mother complaining about the accident that is her unborn child and I feel an anger sear through me with a shock that frankly… shocks me. Jealousy is an awful emotion. Its a dark cloud that is of your own making. Its a negative black hole which sucks in everything around it. Jacks’s sister had her second baby today. I am so happy for her, I called and congratulated and smiled. And then I hung up, and I wept. This is unacceptable. I will repeat the mantra of this subject heading until it is seared into my skull.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: