Being Strong

June 15, 2008

I cry so easily, I am so weak. I see photo updates e-maied to me by friends and I can’t look at the babies because I think I will never have one and it reminds me of what will never be mine.

My body is still in mutiny, I think the last of the light brown spotting ended yesterday, today my breasts are dense, and I feel nausea, but I know I am not pregnant, its just my bdoy pu nishing me from crimes I know  no. The feeling of symptoms despite knowing the truth in your heart it just hurts.

But this pain at looking at babies that I feel thes days…. this surprises me and it disappoints me. Is this jealousy i am feeling? I don’t want to be a jeaous person. I don’t want to transmit bad vibes. I think I need to get a grip and I need to be a bit stronger.

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