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You thought you were pregnant right?

May 9, 2008

Is what the receptionist at the dentist’s office said today when I went in for my crown appointment. Last time I went, I thought I might be what with the implantation bleeding (or so I thought). They wanted to schedule me for a cleaning and she paused as she read the note on the screen, “Wait… are you pregnant?” Its weird because I’ve accepted that I am not, but still, saying it out loud “No, I found out that I am not.” was really sad to say. You know what the biggest feeling is? Shame. I can’t tell you why because it makes no sense objectively, but in my heart, my gut, I feel ashamed to have dared presumed.

My mother yesterday called and asked quietly, “are you okay”, I was rude and abrupt and said yes. I feel bad. She quickly understood, I feel awful for hurting her, but how can I tell her that I might have a problem. I don’t want to worry her… but I guess sooner or later she will find out.

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2 comments

  1. {hugs} It sucks how every day situations turn into something more painful when you’re TTC.

    I’m sure your mother understands.

    I could tell you “Don’t feel shame” or “Don’t feel guilt” – but that won’t help. You will feel them regardless. Just try not to dwell on those negative emotions.


  2. […] you were pregnant last time you came. I stared at her with my jaw hanging down to my knees. I wrote about this May 2008, over a year ago. How I thought I was pregnant and had to do the walk of shame and say nope, just a […]



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