On patience

April 23, 2008

I went to pick up my refill Prenatal prescription from the pharmacist today. As she checked me out I asked her if she knew a thing or two about pregnancy tests. She said she did, so I told her how many dpo I was and that I tested negative. She told me that the tests are quite reliable these days and that if it said I was not, then I am not. She told me not to give up hope, and to keep trying.

I got in the car and as I did a wave of sorrow came over me. Trying to get pregnant does a lot of things to a person. You see signs and symptoms. Then you get excited. Then you feel stupid. Did I make up the signs? Was I hallucinating? You feel foolish and bitter and embarrassed for getting your hopes so high.

Only two of my friends know about this, and so I called one on the ride to work, as soon as she picked up the phone, I started crying. She knew immediately what it was. “Kate- the stress is going to ensure you NEVER get pregnant. STOP taking pregnancy tests! The next one I’m allowing you take is FIVE DAYS after you miss your period which means ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!” This is why I love my friends, they don’t sugar coat it.

Today as I drove to work and pulled into my parking garage I realized that Jack and I switched cars and thus my parking card was in his. I turned around and drove the ten miles to his work and he brought it out. I told him what happened, he hugged me and said its no big deal. As I got back on the highway, I looked at the truck ahead of me, it had a bumper sticker, large and white with thick black lettering which said: Got Hope?

Yeah, I think I do. Everything happens for a reason. I just need to remember that.


One comment

  1. Awesome. And just think – if you hadn’t switched cars and left your parking card, you never would have been behind that truck and seen that sticker.

    That happens in so many bigger ways. Things feel like they’re going completely wrong — you only discover later that they were going exactly as they should to put you where you are now.

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